The sunshine in London has been incredibly generous this summer. Yet I couldn’t fully enjoy the blessing as I continue to be bothered by the overall stagnancy of my life. It seems that I am stuck in a forever-pending state. During a recent dinner with my friend, I shared my frustration with her. “It seems that I am not making progress on everything that matters. ” I said. “But what is progress? ” She asked. I paused. Do we only count key life milestones (such as promotion, home purchase or marriage) as progress? Or maybe progress can be something more subtle and not necessarily visible?

Progress markers
We all know that performance progress is non-linear. If anything, it often resembles a J-curve. Slowly, slowly then suddenly. Yet knowing doesn’t necessarily means willing acceptance. Most importantly, it doesn’t make the daily grind more tolerable. The human brain is naturally wired to instant gratification. A delayed feedback loop, sometimes a much delayed feedback loop, is painful to deal with to say at least. That is why, the tolerance of pain is often ranked as the No.1 trait of successful people. We cannot plan the timing of outcome but we can change our mental framework to make the journey more enjoyful by adding small progress markers. Although they may not correlate in anyway with the outcome, it can trick your mind to keep the course of actions much longer. Small markers I use every day include checking off the hardest item on my list. Bigger markers I use include finishing a book, completing an online course, forming a new habit (in the range of 21 – 90 days) etc. Collecting progress markers feeds my brain’s need of instant gratification. It creates a mental environment where I am constantly moving forward.

The bigger picture
There is a famous conversation which runs in different versions but it generally goes like this. A and B are having a conversation. A asks:”What will you do when you have made [x] amount of money?” B answers:”I will be lying on the beach and do absolutely nothing all day.” A laughed:”I am already living like that.” The end point is never as sweet as your imagination. The journey is what matters. When I was younger I often think this is comforting words for the ordinary people given by the extraordinary. But now I start to appreciate the wisdom in it. The process is progress. Stop punishing yourself with the achievements that you don’t have yet.

And just like that, I regained peace with myself. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of what our lives should look like at a certain point in time. More often than not, it doesn’t play out according to the plan. Nevertheless, it shouldn’t stop us from chasing our dreams and continue on our path. Even though it may not seem like much at the time, each step forward is an important moment in our journey. Sticking to the process is progress.